15/ 01/ 2011

based on the title it's about me and what happen to that day. 


that day is mixed up with bad and happy mode. and let me say, most of it i think it's bad. very very bad. ughh!!


the happy mode is when i get a text that my boyfriend coming to my house with izwan. i can't say bad things about izwan. later he won't bring my kekasih. hehee. izwan is a nice person but my boyfriend is nicer. and i forget to tell izwan. IZWAN!! MAKSEH MBAK ZUL K RUMAH!!started my day by looking at his face. :)


wan!! ko ada? xda. hihih. ku jak ada wan. neyhh. I LOVE SCOOTVILLE COMMUNITY MEMBER, AYANG, FAMLIY ANG KENGKAWAN. ;D


bad day? don't get me started. ugh!!


just let me say. it's getting worst and worst. and i barely can't stop my tears from coming down. i got crushed. my heart were torn. my anger can't be control. my mouth can't be stop.


i say shit, i say fuck i say all those shit, because there's no other word to describe how am i feeling. ugh!! 


i feel like crying, i feel like smoking, i feel like running away and lastly and i feel like crying. ugh!! 


but i could turn back times, the could be great. i though by seeing his face, making my day better. but it getting worst. i love him. but, do he know?


for my add mate class, ugh. i feel like slapping my teacher face just to shut her up. i'm headache, i'm sick. i don't know what else to do.


i wish i could turn back times. what the use of i'm crying for them, but they don't care. ugh!!


continued i don't know when. i don't feel well. -.-

i don't care

like my sister say to me, what for i angry in this blog. people read also getting bored. 


i want to share a few stories with you guys. :)


i know this guy i don't know since when. but he says he saw me and he immediately attractive to me. he looked for me n bla bla. i'm trying to believe him. but my guts n my head tells me differently. hey, everyone is an actor. thats why we have nick names. :P neyhh. 


this person really a good actor. wanna know why he's a good actor? hey, i know my it's my fault. but asked him. do he know his mistakes towards me? and i keep my mouth shut because i know its my fault. as if i care much bout him lately. after the breaking up scene, he looked for me. what?? 


who's looking for who jerk? i'm easily to forget you because you asked for it. for my whole life, i never find this kind of boy. why? yes, he loves me and what so ever. but after break up, the bad things happen. like? he this this, he that that. he tells everyone. but, he asked me not to tell everyone. i'm not that kind of girl. 


i know i'm bad playing your heart. but do you know yours? what past let it pass. yes, you might think easy for me to say because i found someone else. but, being someone else is not making the memory disappear. the memories still there in fact. i'm not gonna hate you. but you will hate me.


what for i hate you because of my mistakes. i know, and i realize it. but did you realize yours? why in the first place you asked me to change my relationship status and also asked me not to text you in a few days. what the fuck is that mean.


if you wanna break up, just say it. thats why. to me, making a promise to someone is very very hard. but to you, its easy. you saying the b word with this and that. if you wanna break up, so break up. so mad to me a few days. i asked, you said its nothing. what am i to you? just a piece of crap?


who mistakes it is? did you even know? i don't care if you hate me or you doesn't wanna talk with me or or see me. i don't even care. i live on earth not just to pleased your heart and your desire mister. and please, i'm begging you. stop angry. happy please. i'm no one to you so why you must be angry with me. i know my mistakes and i know yours.


so lets hush hush okey? what the word i called you BABE? hey, it still in my memory. like i remember every single thing you do to me. you apologize, i accept it. even though hard for to accept it back then. what a day. you know, you stiil not the worst ex i know. you still a good guy. 


and hey, i you do hate me. and i know this one coming, i never accept you as my boyfriend. this type of boy, i really do want to get away from. why in the first place i wanna get to know you but in the same time there's something that hate to see.


fuck. haha. i don't know what else to say. just, leave me alone and let GOD do the works and for you, don's say shit when you don't know shit. okeh? let GOD decide if i get the luck like you do. like people use to say, you play shit you got bad partner. so, work very hard babe. don't lazy. and also learn to accept your own mistake because for me and others are learning. 

THE END

life of a teenage girl

speaking of life, my life just like a ball that get into the middle of no where. sometimes i'm going up, sometimes i'm down. talking about long time no update, i'm busy. like i said 2011 gonna be the rough time i have ever had. and unfortunately it't 110% true. it's rough, it's miserable and it's lack of fun-ness. 


talking about school, like from the first day of school i bring back home homeworks. with a s behind it. i feel like crying at the same time. and lately, i sleep late and congrates to me i'm maybe from bad girl to good girl now. hehe. hey, the same me nothing change. i think. my height don't change and my moody or sometimes happy still there. i'm still a facebook holic. haha. 


today is wednesday, 12/01/2011. i can't even believe that i'm in form 5 now. it feels like i'm still form 4 student. hard for me to let my teenage world at school go. and it's very hard when i'm gonna step out from school and away from my friends. 


why must teenage world hard to fine? stepping outside the school with a license and starting a new life maybe as a worker or a student university and started making new friends. uh, how i'm gonna let my teenage world go. i wish i can turn back times. 


i miss my friend. even though we fight or what ever. we still friends. :) 


i love my friends, :) 

bunkface vs hujan

yesterday was the day that me, dba and zul went to imperial hotel for hi-tea. actually we were excited to see them not eating. haha. well, the hi-tea just only for those who buy the ticket for rm100. so, me, dba n zul buy the ticket just to see them. 


aww. i love SAM!! hehe. well, it should be at 3 p.m and ag coco write in twitter said that they just arrived at 2.30 something. and the hi-tea started at 4 p.m. while we are waiting for them to come, this 5 brunien girls were laughing as the room were theirs. OMG!! haha


and the fun part is, the hi-tea is simple. so, me and dba using tee shirt, skinny jeans, bag and our fippers. but those girls looking and like laughing at us. so, like i freaking care. haha. i'm there just to see the artist. not for free show. :) using 5 inch heels. this is indiependent band. haha. 

at night, me, beb, zul n dba went there by beb's car. and what spoiling is that the weather is raining. hish. the show started with karakoma from brunie. they perform for opening. they song were fantastic and hard core i guess.

about 10 p.m the real show started. and we started jumping, dancing, screaming and also laughing. haha. at the same time we met our new head banging friends. haha. we were dancing and screaming. haha. it was the most tired day of my life. haha.


everyone see us dancing like what. and the guys some of the guys i know. haha. they also dancing and make the consert more happening. haha. since we started dancing around, the others followed. :)


well, long story short. yesterday was the happiest day ever. i'm enjoying myself and not really thinking what had happen last last night or today. :) 

THE END

16/12/2010

for today story. it'm my sadness & my loneliest day ever. i feel like crying. but i can't. i just have to push myself away from distraction. i just have to. if not, i'll keep crying and crying. don't why or what. i don't know what i've done. i don't know what i say to him. 


but for today. i text him 3 times. and none of it were replied by him. i just don't know. i just can't. what i can do right now, writing this blog and cried. i'm no one to him i think. it just suddenly drop. my guts says that he's gonna leave me. and my brain tell me the same. 


i just keep crying and crying. i have no else to go. fortunate for me, i'm open my facebook and i caught my see on this particular word. 'scandal'. it making my day greater and greater. i feel like shout. i feel like i wanna smoke. i feel like i just wanna runaway from this whole mess. 


unfortunate for him, i deactivate my account quietly. i just don't know what the heck am i doing. i sitting there looking at my phone waited for him to text me. i don't know what i've done. seriously. but not even one he replied. what i did to him must be big that's why he treated  the that way.


i just felt i'm being left alone. i'm starting to trust him like i used to trust my friends and my parents. but what he did to me today on 16/12/2010 thursday. from this morning, he didn;t replied even one of my text. i'm sorry. i just can't sleep last night. don't know why or what i just can't. 


i felt i'm just the person that excited being with you and you didn't. like last night i accident-ly found you at boulevard at the same time me and my siblings at the same placed. you just smile. you said you missed me. but looks like you didn't.


lastly, if you do loves me and if you do miss me. showed. and this particular song titled never alone i gave it to you. and for myself i'm enjoying this song. when you got a good thing. hoho

THE END

hot & dangerous

hot & dangerous 


the meaning of the title are i'm not desperate & i can live without you in my life. you are not worth to fight for. i'm young, i'm cute, i'm hot and also dangerous. why dangerous? because i dumped you or you dumped me, as if like i care. you are nothing to me. except you my husband then i care.


i'm a teenager. teenager that still having fun with her life. doesn't really need a guy that act like you do jerk. hoho. take or leave it honey. i'm sorry if anyone read this, might hurt your feeling. this is for specific person. only him. *tidak membibatkan orang yang hidup mahupun orang yang sudah meninggal dunia. haha


well. i've got the picture of you. but luckily i'm the good girl type. so, i won't upload. *ku nie mok antap bha. mesty bbunga ayat. hahaha


lastly i just need to say this shit to you. i so regret for being stupid falling in love with you on the 13th September. so thanks anyway. and i hope that no hard feeling between us. i'm so happy for you. like you use to say to me. tenang ajak. thanks fir the advice. i'm letting you go with a guy being next to me and a girl being next you. 


i thought i was the bad girl. well, antap banar eyh. you the bad boy sugar. accept it. i was trying to honest to you. i'm happy, i'm smiling and after you did this to me. i realize what for i being so so jealous because of you being with the girl. lantak lu la. haha, 


a poem describing you biatch.


inside you the devil, 
outside you the angle,
you make me sad,
i make your life miserable,
i'm young,
i'm not that desperate,
i'm not jealous,
because a guy like you are not worth it to fight.


describing me how i felt.


i'm mad,
i'm jealous,
i'll thought i need you,
i'll thought you were the one,
i'll thought you weren't the guy i use to know,
well, i guess i'm wrong babe.

you just the same exactly the same guy, the same altitude. you cursed him what he did to me. and fyi boy, you are the same. i'm happy with you and the girl. hope that she or you will not do the same mistake. 

THE END

observation & conclusion

observation - 13/09/2010 was not my fortunate day. i meet with you. i say i love you. and i'm being stupid because i dumped my boy just for you. and also you easily letting me go because you having someone. not me but you. 


i dumped him for you. and you easily letting me go and the next day you happy. right? do you even mean the words that you say to me. do you even felt that at that specific time my heart melt seeing you? do you believe when i say my words to you? do you even give your trust to me? hah?!?!?


conclusion - i'm a bitch or you s jerk? who worst? for me, i straight to the point. i'm used to play someone heart. but you. that's why my friends either my parents worried when i'm hook up with you. and yet i go on with our relationship. 


but did i get from you after i dumped you. you hook up with well-known girl that used to hook up with my friend. and yet you hook up with her i don't even know when. maybe you hook up with me at the time me and you hook up. i realize that you and her never separated even though she know that me being with you.


she text you longer than you texting me. why? i noticed she helped you every single time. don't you realize anything? jeez?!?! i'm feeling so so so stupid. i though me the one who played someone feeling. but you, outside you were the angle and me the devil. the bad one. you much much worser than me. 


outside you were the angle and inside you were the most hated unbelieve-able person. what for me is. i'm honest when say i love you. and also you will risk that i will played your heart. but you, you were hiding your real you inside that good boy thingy.

THE END