straight from my heart

i just can't stand anymore. just now, a few minutes past. my brother ask me this type of question. 'kakak x kawan agik nan abg ya ka?' and then i answered 'kawan kin. p, nya dha x rapat nan kakak. so, what for kakak mrapatkan drik kakak nan nya. tnyak kaba o wall to wall nan nya gik xda eply. so?' 


isn't my fault that my brother asked me that type of questing. isn't my fault that him doesn't hang out with my brother. ithink my brother miss him. like he going to 'K', evryday he asked me the same question. 'bila abg ya datang miri? bila abg ya mok agak umah?' i asked my brother ' apahal tak nyak bila pa suma? tak rindu abg ya ka? lak kakak mcz mun xkol . k? ' den my brother says back to me 'aok. rindu. lamak dha xda abg ya datang umah. men game sama nan abg. ya abg crik abg ya.'


i remembered every single thing my brother said about him. haih -.- isn't my fault that he n my brother no close anymore? if it is, come and hang out with him. don't blame him. and don't be an excuse my mom doesn't let him hang out at her place.


sometimes my mom asked ' nie org ya? lamak xda lepak nan wazif? pahal ktak n org ya? da pa2 masalah ka?'


well, like my kazen says to me 'diam'. it's better that way. better let him go. i'm trying to find a new big brother for wazif. 


that's what i need to spit out. i just can't hold anymore. bcause, there's no replacement for a guy that good listener. and thanks. in me, there's no trust anymore. i feel like this is the second time that i felt, my trust was to play around. crying isn't the solution. you just being the guy that i met during the time that i sent back your usb cabel. and your advice 'TENANG AJAK'. thanks a lot. i appriciate what you told me. but, that isn't the advice that i would like to hear.


so thanks. my trust to you n my last fren was 110%. and what happen. either of you guys there for me. but, when you guys, i'm there. not all the time. but, i'm there for you guys. might my advice doesn't work. but atleast, i'm there. 


haih-.- i just need someone that i really can trust. bcause my trust to someone is hard. and you n my fren i've known for many yrs. that's y i trust you.